Lifestyle, Parenthood

Bump Watch: Week 34 – things I’ll miss about being pregnant (and those I won’t!)

It’s been a helluva week and as I get bigger and more uncomfortable it’s hard to remember the more ‘fun’ parts of being pregnant. The pelvic dysfunction is giving me more trouble in the evenings, particularly moving around in bed and getting up multiple times for a wee, and my increased weight has given me problems with my left foot. I went back to A&E and, although there isn’t a stress fracture, I do have an inflamed metatarsal, which doesn’t sound very exciting but is rather painful. The only way to help is to keep it elevated and take paracetamol, so I’ve been sat at work with my feet up on crates of beer because I keep forgetting to take my laptop in!

34 weeks pregnant

I also had boob leakage the other night! That’s right, even though he’s still growing away inside me I woke up the other morning to a crusty patch on my vest top. I couldn’t believe it! I was a bit grossed out, to say the least, and, coupled with my ever-prominent stretch marks, I wasn’t feeling particularly attractive. So, with that, here are some of the things I won’t miss about being pregnant:

  1. Swollen feet/ankles
  2. Pelvic dysfunction
  3. Getting up multiple times in the night to go the loo
  4. Struggling to get up/waddling
  5. Restless leg/waking up in the middle of the night with agonising leg cramps 
  6. Not being able to shave my legs/paint my toe nails/tie my own shoe laces
  7. People’s unhelpful comments…
    “It’s definitely a boy/girl!” (Pre-20-week scan you don’t have a fecking clue love, no matter how you think my bump looks)
    “Are you sure there’s not more than one in there?” (No, there’s not another one hiding behind him and they don’t have identical heart beats)
    “You’re looking huge! You won’t go the full 40 weeks” (Thanks!)
    “You should/shouldn’t call him…” (Not your bloody decision!)
    “Wow, you’re that far along?! It’s gone by so fast!” (No it fecking hasn’t!)
  8. Taking forever to get anywhere
  9. Hot flushes
  10. Not being able to have a cold cider on a hot day

But there are things I will miss:

  1. Luke talking to/playing with my bump
  2. Eating for two
  3. Being able to nap in the middle of the day
  4. People holding doors open/giving up seats for me
  5. Maternity jeans
  6. Not having to carry shopping/bend down to the washing machine or tumble dryer/pick things up when I drop them
  7. Not giving a shit about how I look
  8. Being looked after/pampered
  9. No periods/PMT!
  10. Thinking my ass looks small cos my belly is so huge

I’ve got two weeks left at work and I’m super excited to have the time to get the hospital bag packed, finish the baby’s room and sort through his clothes. That’ll take up the whole four weeks, right?!

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