There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted and Marshall are talking about what life will be like when they’re no longer living together and are all “that’s something for Future Ted and Marshall to worry about”. That’s how I felt through most of my pregnancy. I knew that at some point a reasonably sized little person was going to have to come out of me – but I didn’t have to worry about it today. It was something for Future Emma to worry about. And then my due date came around. And then my waters broke… Turned out it was something Present Emma had to worry about! And it’s what I’ve been like for the last few months of my maternity leave. When I reached the halfway mark, I started to count down the weeks til my first day back at work and it was horrible. After a couple of weeks I decided to put it at the back of my mind and enjoy the days I had that gorgeous boy all to myself – returning to work was something for Future Emma to worry about.
On Monday I had my first KIT (Keeping in Touch) day at work. I don’t go back for another four weeks but I have two training sessions before I go back (some refreshers on Illustrator and InDesign) and I was asked to pop in for a half day to meet the new team. While I’ve been on maternity leave there was a restructure at work, with redundancies and new roles, and so half of the team has changed. Plus I’m going to be working within a different department within the same company, so in a way everything’s the same but completely different. And I’m not great with change.
The night before I went in to work I felt sick. It was like my life was about to be turned upside down. I’m used to being “Mummy” and dedicating my whole day to looking after the cutest little boy in the world. The only time I really have to myself is when I pop to the gym for an hour twice a week. The other day my mum came over to watch Jenson while I nipped to the doctors on my own and it was so strange walking around without a buggy and carrying a handbag instead of a changing bag. Plus, the issue with working so far away from home (it’s a three to four hour round trip on the bus) means that it can feel like a whole other world. So it’s kind of like stepping off the bus and being this whole other person. And that made me feel guilty.
It turned out that actually going back to work wasn’t all that bad. For a start, whenever I’m at work, Luke is going to be with Jenson (I’m working Monday-Wednesday and he’s doing Saturday-Sunday), so it’s not like I’m changing his world too much by putting him in nursery. Secondly, I kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet on the bus and being able to just sit and catch up on some reading. And everyone at work was super-nice! I definitely feel a lot more relaxed about going to work and it doesn’t seem like as much as a culture shock as I thought it would. My job role has changed a bit but after talking to the lovely lady covering my maternity leave I feel a lot more capable and at ease. I might feel a bit differently for the first couple of weeks, as it’ll be different coming home an hour before Jenson’s bed time and doing it three days in a row, but at least I don’t feel sick about it anymore!
Have any of you gone back to work less than a year after having a baby? How long did it take for you to feel settled back into work?
Hiya, with my first (and will be same with second) I went back when they were 6.5 months. It is hard, but I enjoyed the adult company and a different way to use my brain!
I’m the same as you, now I’m almost half way through maternity leave I’m ignoring the date I’m due to return. Makes it much easier 🙂
Did you negotiate part time? I’m full time with a two hour commute – will be tired at weekends!
Ugh, I think you’re worse off than me! Due to the staff restructure my job actually became two part-time roles, so negotiation wasn’t necessary. I’m now on half hours, which I get to dictate, so I’m doing three shorter days rather than two and a half days because of the three-four hour round trip on the bus.