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Today is World Book Day and I thought I’d use it as an opportunity to recommend some of my favourite non-fiction books. Whether you want to learn to say no, share the mental load, or find your artistic voice, I’m sure there’s something here for you.
If you want to… stop giving a fuck what other people thing, get your shit together, and make more time for yourself.
You need the No Fucks Given Guides in your life! Ultra-sweary anti-guru Sarah Knight has a wealth of must-read titles to her name, including The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, Get Your Shit Together, You Do You, Calm the Fuck Down, and Fuck No.
Fed up with all of the ‘new year, new me’ bullshit already? I feel ya. Fortunately Sarah Knight knows that, really, all we need to do is stop giving a fuck what people think, get our shit together, start putting ourselves first, and calm the fuck down.
Sound like the kind of message you can get on board with? Check out the No Fucks Given Guides.
From the archives: Ten Reasons Why You Need the No Fucks Given Guides in Your Life
Buy them from:
Amazon – TLCMONGAF, GYST, YDY, CTFD, FN
Waterstones – TLCMONGAF, GYST, YDY, CTFD, FN
Wordery – TLCMONGAF, GYST, YDY, CTFD, FN
WH Smith – TLCMONGAF, GYST, YDY, CTFD
If you want to… share the mental load, rebalance your relationship and transform your life
Subtitled ‘Share the mental load, rebalance your relationship and transform your life’, as soon as I saw Fair Play featured in Reese Witherspoon’s book club, I knew I needed it in my life. I’m forever bitching about how I do so much more than Luke but I never do anything to really address it – it’s not worth the argument as (the book confirms it) he’s better than most.
Although Luke cooks all of our meals and does the school runs four days a week, this book acknowledges everything the ‘she-fault parent’ does, which often goes unnoticed/unappreciated. Things like the mental load, the emotional labour, and the second shift.
Rodsky says ‘resentment grows out of perceived unfairness’ and I feel all kinds of resentful and frustrated. Fortunately there’s a ‘game’ you can play together to address this. Her research culminated in a list of up to 100 tasks which any family could have to juggle. The objective of the game is to rebalance your home life and reclaim your “Unicorn Space” (as in, the space to develop or rediscover the skills and passions that define you beyond your role of partner and parent). It has been tested by families all over the world, from all walks of life, with input from psychologists, sociologists and economists.
Each of the tasks is a ‘card’ and you start by looking at who is currently holding/responsible for these cards, then redistribute fairly. Rodsky suggests trialling the game for a week and then reassessing. Let me know how you get on!
Buy it from:
Amazon
Waterstones
Wordery
WH Smith
If you want to… make time for the things that bring you joy.
So you’ve uncovered your unicorn space, but how do you make time for it in your current routine? Big Dreams Daily Joys isn’t just about learning to set yourself SMART goals – it’s also about time management and productivity: “This book is a guide to creating room in your days, dreaming bigger, and making progress toward your goals. It’s about recognising that through routine and pockets of time you can make progress and build a life you enjoy.”
I spent so much of the last few years claiming I didn’t have any time for me (#workingmumproblems) but in reality there is more I could have done if I had this book in my life then.
There is room in my day for the things that I need and want to get done; it’s all about prioritisation. I really enjoyed the section on honouring your time zones: “Don’t waste your ‘free time’ on chores while you are in your zone! Spend that time doing the things that require your undivided attention and creative energy.” I often don’t do housework when Jenson is around because I want to value the time that I get to spend with him, but that means the chores get done during my very limited me time – and that is not how I want to be spending my time. Besides, it’s not how Luke spends his time. He’s great at prioritising.
There are simple ways to make the most of your time:
- avoid decision fatigue (meal plan, build a capsule wardrobe): “Stop reinventing the wheel on routine tasks so that you can make way for more creativity in other areas”.
- avoid mobile distractions – turn off notifications so that you stay focused on the task at hand.
- build in time to be creative – book up 80% of your time, then remain free to experiment.
This experimentation is important in so many areas of my life, whether it’s planning my weekends with Jenson, managing my workload in my day job, or scheduling my blog posts. As much as I love planning, I need to allow time for spontaneity.
One of my favourite quotes from this book is: “You have exactly enough time for the things that matter to you”. And it’s true. When my mental health took a bit of a nosedive a couple of years ago, I reassessed my priorities: rest/sleep, catching up on Station 19, and being creative. I hit a bit of an unexpected brick wall when it came to blogging, so I chose to focus on journaling and lettering. Now I’m managing a little bit of everything and I feel so much better for it.
Buy it from:
Amazon
Waterstones
Wordery
WH Smith
If you want to… understand your anxiety
When I spotted First, We Make the Beast Beautiful by Sarah Wilson on @otterly_bookish‘s Instagram account, I immediately added it to my library reservation list. Obviously I was initially attracted by the stunning cover, but, having read some great non-fiction a few weeks prior, I thought I’d give a book on anxiety a go.
I found it so useful to read about someone else’s experience of anxiety – the ups and downs, the tips and tricks which have helped to manage symptoms, a bit of (accessible) science behind the illness. It was so relatable, reassuring and hopeful; it really helped me to understand myself better and I felt it gave me permission for a lot of things.
Buy it from:
Amazon
Waterstones
Wordery
WH Smith
If you want to… beat the stress cycle
@bycharlotteann_ had good things to say about Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, so I added that to The List too. Don’t you just love finding fantastic recommendations on Bookstagram?
I loved that Emily and Amelia acknowledged how ‘trendy’ self-care has become and that it’s unrealistic for a lot of people: “The problem is the world has turned “wellness” into yet another goal everyone “should” strive for, but only people with time and money and nannies and yachts and Oprah’s phone number can actually achieve. So this book is different from anything else you’ll read about burnout. We’ll figure out what wellness can look like in your actual real life, and we’ll confront the barriers that stand between you and your own well-being.”
I had so many ‘oh em gee, this is me’ moments: “anxiety comes from the accumulation, day after day, of stress that never ends.” And I felt empowered to make positive changes to improve my lifestyle. It helps that I’m very reflective and a bit of a goal-setter: “We thrive when we have a positive goal to move toward, not just a negative state we’re trying to move away from.”
They also reiterate the importance of not just sleep, but rest: “mental rest is not idleness; it is the time necessary for your brain to process the world“. But sleep is important too. I’ve noticed that lately I’ve gone from 6-8 hours sleep a night to 9-11. And rather than beating myself up for not being productive, I’m congratulating myself for resting when I need to: “If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues… sleep is medicine for you.”
Buy it from:
Amazon
Waterstones
Wordery
WH Smith
If you want to… find your artistic voice
I always thought I wasn’t particularly artistic; my bullet journal posts are evidence of the fact that I’m a writer rather than a typical creative. But we’re all creative in our own way and I found Lisa Congdon’s Find Your Artistic Voice really helpful when it comes to finding my voice for this blog.
Top tips:
- No idea is completely original. Being influenced by others is part of the process.
- Finding your voice/style takes time. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the journey.
- Practice until it comes easily. Make it part of your routine. Beginning is the hardest thing.
- Take risks. Experiment.
- Find a community.
Favourite quote: “The process of finding your voice is like uncovering your own superpower.”
I’m going to give this one a re-read to help with my lettering too.
Buy it from:
Amazon
Waterstones
Wordery
WH Smith
Anything take your fancy? Or any recommendations?
The last book in your list sounds like my kinda read. Thank you for sharing.